So it has been a year of change for me, to say the least. There has been progress and lots of joy but certainly a fair share of stress. I have always been aware that stress is stored and created in different ways physically, but came to terms with it, emotionally, during a deep tissue massage. This was not just any massage, but a total breakthrough. I had already been having minor epiphanys all week but what was about to come was major. As my therapist worked through sensitive areas in my body, my mind wandered through the circumstances that brought me such tension. I watched as the thoughts entered my mind and then left. After a few minutes, they started to appear at a more rapid pace, several over and over again. It was strangely synchronized that during this moment the massage was becoming increasingly painful — starting an unexpected panic.

This anxiety of mine…I store it in both in my body and my head. My body stores it as pain; my mind archives it as worry.  I evaluated myself some more. I focused for a minute on the nature of my thoughts. To my surprise, each one had to do with a problem that I could not change, or even funnier, the anxiety of a fictitious event that had not even yet occurred. I noticed how much energy these thoughts consumed as they occupied my head. Whew — another painful exhale in my massage. The breakthrough was coming…what exactly was I afraid of? What benefit would come out of my fear? What would life feel like without my anxiety and my fear? What am I protecting? And finally the message came to me:

“Surrender the outcome.”

What?

“Surrender the outcome.”

In this moment, I realized that the only real way to live free is to truly surrender the outcome. We all have so many expectations — but, life always ends up unfolding in some unseen way, right?  How free could we be if we simply lived while truly surrendered the outcome. What is it that I would think about if I didn’t worry about things I couldn’t change, or things that didn’t exist? I would really like to find out.

So now moving forward….

When I’m late to work, I surrender the outcome.

When I am creating on a canvas, I surrender the outcome

When I find myself in Pensacola beach, Fl. with my hands covered in crude oil, I surrender the outcome.

Obsessing over my health! I surrender the outcome.

Is my writing really making a difference? I surrender the outcome.

Will I ever make my parents truly proud? I surrender the outcome.

Will I have success in my career? I surrender the outcome.

When I know I’m doing my best…I shall surrender the outcome.

Friends come and go, I surrender the outcome.

As love ends and a new love begins, I surrender the outcome.

Will I ever have children? I surrender the outcome.

When will I die? I surrender the outcome.

So now, in this wide open space of surrender, I am free of jealousy. I am free to enjoy what I have, be creative, and welcome change. Now I can truly live *in* the moment.

What would be freed in your mind if you only surrendered the outcome?

- Robyn NewMark
truth-action.com